Saturday, May 10, 2008

A different Boris

At Hay Literary Festival they occasionally have events that interest me.
This year Boris Spassky is to play a simultaneous exhibition against 20 people and so I applied as directed on their website.

Email to HLF
26th April 2008
Good morning,
I would like to play Mr Spassky.

No reply

Before the brochure had been published and distributed I noticed on the website that the event was full – no further places. I thought this was a bit much closing an event before the brochure had been issued and so I wrote;

Email to HLF

2nd May 2008

Are you going to bother to reply to this or had you allocated all the places before you advertised it which seems most likely and cant be bothered to answer?

Then on 7th May I get the following from the Festival Director Peter Florence

actually, you were going to get a place as one of the most local applicants, but you're also the rudest, so you won't

To which I replied 10th May 2008

Odd is it not that you were going to allocate me a place when, before you had got round to publishing a brochure, your website said that this event was fully subscribed and there was no point in applying?
But I whole heartedly agree with you that the last thing we want in a chess player is rudeness! Its a pity you were not in charge of world chess when Boris lost his title in Reykjavík it would never have happened.
I do not claim to be a Bobbie Fischer either in ability to play chess or in achieving the necessary level of rudeness, in fact I am struggling now to avoid directly quoting Bobby Fischer for fear that you will not recognise it as a quotation from the master and think I am merely being foul mouthed.
Anyway it would have been nice to play Boris but it is no lifetimes ambition so I am not 'sick as parrot' and to be frank I think your email shows that you have probably been reading some textbooks from the Lifemanship, 'Early Learners' series.
Still good luck with the Festival - Kenn Dodd looks good - rest of it though I am not so sure.

I know the last line will annoy him I am pleased to say.

1 comment:

FBT said...

My dear, you are a champion feuder - I applaud you!