What I did in the holidays – Chapter 1

I thought we would go away for a few days – 4 in all.
I thought we would travel across country over two days to the east coast and then return.
I got a map and picked out an area that was a couple of hours away for the first stop and plunged a pin into the chunk coloured green which showed no large settlements of humans. The nearest place to the pin was Shipston on Stour of which I had never heard. On the internet I found The White Bear and the price looked very good for that area £86 for bed breakfast and an evening meal off of the full menu. So that’s £43 each per night. I then noticed that it was close to other tourist places like Stratford and the Cotswolds villages and so idleness crept over me and after a very cursory look at Trip Adviser I booked for the 4 days.
I immediately liked it. It was an ancient pub, obviously much used by the locals. The carpet in the bar had countless holes in it where ‘generations’ of smokers had stubbed their cigarettes before being ousted to the ‘designated smoking area' by the PC . It really is scandalous the way that non-smokers have muscled their way into these institutions and dumbed them down. Its like Mary Whitehouse being appointed to run a brothel.
Me I haven’t smoked since the lung operation about 5 years ago but even so I have not joined the ranks of the self righteous, that carpet to me was a thing of beauty.
Ann visibly flinched when she saw it and I thought, ‘ there could be trouble here’. The room they showed us I admit was grotty , there was nowhere to sit down and it was up in the attic and didn’t have a shower. I didn’t mind any of this but Ann was not happy and fixed to see the manageress as soon as she came on duty at 7pm.
I did notice that the light pull in the bathroom was missing the end toggle and the chord was excessively dirty and tapered at the bottom end like some wetted thread before you pass it through the eye of the needle. This shows that I am not a complete philistine because even I felt some disquiet.
Here is a picture of Ann ringing her mother while waiting for the arrival of the manageress.